Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
