I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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