he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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