when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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