Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
