bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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