I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
