PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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