Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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