You smell like stripper and shame
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
