How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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