Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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