just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
