remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
