haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Boobs are out for the taking
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
