Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
