Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
