She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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