yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I think a kid would responsible me up
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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