I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
