C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I need help removing her.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
