Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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