He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
