love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
