im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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