I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
