We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
