I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize