their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
