I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
two words...techno handjob
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
