idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
