dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
