just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
