My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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