another moral hangover. fuck.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
