Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
