I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
