dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
