This is not my ceiling
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Randomize
