Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
