I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
