Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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