her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
