She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
