SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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