Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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