$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I am naked and annoyed.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
