): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
