How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
