oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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