Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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