How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Couch. On fire.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
