Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
