I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
