LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
