She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
