Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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